


Date

by nintendo6664



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series)
Genre: Age Difference, Drinking, F/M, Swearing, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-08
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-10-29 16:28:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10857771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nintendo6664/pseuds/nintendo6664
Summary: Nanu and Olivia get along for once.





	Date

"Hey, asshole!" Olivia screeched, throwing open the door before it slammed in her face. She stepped out into the low evening light and glared at Nanu's back, willing him to combust. He didn't react other than to lazily wave goodbye to Akala's trial captains, the three kids sprinting away at the sound of her angry voice.

Digging her nails into his shoulder she whipped him around, strongly considering cold blooded murder.

"I'm talking to you!"

"Who, me?" he asked, though his monotone voice didn't invite an answer.

"Yes, you! Do you see any other insufferable shitheads around here?"

"Shithead? I thought you said asshole-"

"Oh, so you _can_ hear me. I thought maybe you'd gone deaf with how you're _always_ talking over me," she hissed, stabbing his chest with her finger.

The man raised an eyebrow and pushed her hand away. "Auntie, I'm sure they can hear you all the way in Kanto. Sadly no one has time for your tantrums right now."

Olivia laughed coldly, hands on her hips. "Right _now_? As if. You haven't let me say a word since day one without starting some kind of pissing contest. How about you kindly step off?"   

He shrugged and waved a hand dismissively. "Sure, will do." He turned around again and rifled through his jacket for a ride pager.

Olivia's blood was boiling so hot she thought she might have an anger-induced heart-attack right then and there. Instead she took a deep breath and snatched the pager out of his hand. He looked at her, a flash of annoyance crossing his face for a brief moment.

"Woman-"

" _Olivia_ ," she said sweetly and stashed the pager in her pocket. If he was going to try and escape he'd have to nigh on grope her, which would give her excuse enough to slap him into the Ultra Beast dimension.

"...Olivia," he said slowly, an audible edge to his voice. "Can we discuss this later? In case your mind was wandering for the past half an hour, I remind you that we both have things to do."

"Oh, I heard you. If I recall correctly, _you_ ordered _my_ captains to watch out for suspicious Pokemon and report back to us. _You_ said that it would be best for _me_ to not do any hunting on my own in case they needed back-up. So what exactly do I have to do?"

"Alright, scratch that. _I_ have things to do. Go and organize your earrings or whatever it is you do in your free time."

The feeling of insurmountable rage that only Nanu had the ability to bring out of her was familiar, but different. It was the first time that the two of them had been alone, on her turf, out in the open with no one else around. Maybe she wouldn't murder him (yet), but what better time than now to put him in his place?

"That's _it_ ," she growled. She whistled a sharp note and Lycanroc's low howl responded from a distance. He appeared moments later, leaping off of a high cliff and landing in the dirt with a heavy thump, rocks scattering after him and raining down on the old man.

"Tch," Nanu covered his head and stepped back. The smug expression on his face fell when Lycanoc got on his hind legs, mouth and chest stained with the blood of whichever unfortunate Pokemon had become his last meal.

Olivia smirked and crossed her arms.

"How about we settle this right now?" she said. "Loser has to shut their trap when the other is talking at meetings. Actually, why don't we extend that to everywhere, anytime."

"I'm hurt," the man said, though his tone assured her that he wasn't in the slightest. "I have no problem with you talking. It's one of the last few things that makes me laugh in my old age."

Olivia bit her tongue and slowly ran a hand through Lycanroc's messy fur to keep herself from skipping the battle and just straight-up punching him in the gut.

"Oh, is that so?" she said, voice wire-tight. "Mind telling me why you kept interrupting me when I was trying to guide my captains, then?"

He cradled his chin in a hand and stared at her for a moment, bored expression not helping her blood pressure.

"Just trying to save those kids some time. Bulu knows they have to listen to you yammering on whenever you can trap them. Let it be a helpful lesson on being informative _and_ concise."

"Not everyone has ten minutes left to live you prehistoric ass. I had other information to give them and-"

"In case you couldn't tell, wrapping up this Ultra Beast fiasco is time sensitive. I'm sure even you can understand that."

Letting out a frustrated growl at being interrupted yet again, she stomped her heel into the ground. Lycanroc snarled ferociously in response to her anger, spit and blood dripping from his maw.

Nanu took another step back and frowned at the canine Pokemon, a hand hovering over an Ultra Ball at his waist. Olivia got a sadistic thrill out of seeing him nervous and knowing that she could have him torn to scraps if she wanted.

She crossed her arms. "Battle me. You _know_ you want to."

His gaze slowly returned to her and he shrugged one shoulder. "Fine. If you really want to be taken back to Trainer School I'm happy to assist you."

His hand closed around a ball and he tossed it half-heartedly to the ground, Persian emerging and getting on her haunches.

Olivia held back a grin, pleasantly surprised that he agreed so easily to something _she_ was requesting.

Obviously he would pick his shitty cat Pokemon first. Sure, from what she'd seen Persian was tricky by nature- this one probably more so considering her master- but in terms of strength even the strongest Persian was nothing compared to Lycanroc. Nanu could be just like the cats he hoarded- arrogant, vain, and most importantly, stupid.

She wasted no time in jumping back and commanding Lycanroc to climb up on the cliff face. Persian sensed the ground shake before either human could, but all she could do was arch her back in fear as jagged stones burst from the ground. She dodged, and the gem on her head lit up, sending dozens of small rocks into the spires and breaking up a few of them. Her power gem was pathetic in comparison to Lycanroc's stone edge, though, and the pillars of stone eventually caught her foot and jammed into her ribs.

She cried out and toppled to the ground, only to be cut by another rock. Olivia could see Nanu's annoyed expression from a gap between two rocks and she giggled loudly, unable and unwilling to be a good sport for more than a minute.

"Go, Lycanroc!" she yelled over the sound of the earth shaking. He lept down from safety and landed nimbly on a titled piece of debris before snapping at the prone cat. She wasn't completely done, though- a paw whipped out with blinding speed and hit Lycanroc once, twice-

Olivia had anticipated this, too. This sneakiness would certainly not be limited to just this one Pokemon, but she was ready for whatever he would try and pull.

"Counter!" she screamed, and the canine smashed into Persian, sending her flying into a stone. She collapsed and let out a pathetic sound.

A flash of light connected with her body and she returned to her master's ball. The annoyance Olivia had seen on Nanu's face had disappeared and had returned to its usual blasé state. It didn't matter, she would remember the sight until the day she died.  

"It's alright, old man. It's been a while since you've been to Trainer School. Times have changed since then."

Surprisingly, Nanu smirked. "Go on, then. Teach me some more."

Olivia hadn't even noticed the movement with how hard she was staring at the man's face, but suddenly Krookodile had burst from his ball and got on his hind legs.

Olivia actually hadn't seen one of these Pokemon before, and she took a moment to gaze at him with apprehension. To think Nanu had braved the hellhole that was the Haina Desert just to catch one was kind of cute. The Pokemon itself, however, really wasn't.

Despite the "robber's mask" marking that some trainers adored, the reptile was unpleasant to look at in person. His teeth stuck out from his closed mouth, which itself was long and narrow and promised many more hidden inside. On his hind legs he must have been a whole foot taller than Lycanroc. Worst of all was his smug expression, perfectly mirroring the look Nanu was giving her.

"Lycanroc-" she began, but her voice was drowned out by the primal growl of Krookodile and the deafening crash when he slammed himself against the ground. The pillars from stone edge shattered like glass as the earth shook in a mini shock-wave, tearing apart what was left of the topsoil.

She tensed up like a bowstring, but despite the apparent strength of the earthquake it was focused well within the battle perimeter, and all she felt was a bit of shaking and wobbling in her knees. She had to admit, that was evidence of a skilled Pokemon. Being a rock-type trainer, she had felt the brunt of countless destructive earthquakes that tossed both her and her opponent into walls or precarious places. It felt almost pleasant to not be threatened by serious injury.

Lycanroc had been quick enough to leap back onto the cliff-face, but the shock-waves were quicker and a huge chunk of rock split off at a joint and crushed the canine under its weight. Hearing him yelp in pain was enough for her and she quickly called him back, clutching the ball in her fist.

That had been cheap, but effective. Maybe the old man wasn't above a little bit of strong-arming after all.

Tossing out her next Pokemon, she braced herself for a snide comment when Relicanth flopped onto the ground and laid on his side. _Let him say what he wants... one hydro pump will destroy this creepy lizard and make sure the rest of my team are safe_.

The command died in her throat, though, when she focused on Nanu. His face was strangely open... and almost... _animated_. His normally uninterested gaze was intensely focused on the two Pokemon squaring off.

Olivia had never seen this expression on him before- not when forcing his opinions on everyone at meetings, rambling on about the Ultra Beasts, or doling out z-crystals. While anyone could tell by his acceptance of being a Kahuna for so long and by his fostering of the island's homeless Meowth that he was really a softie inside, Olivia had assumed he had no passion for battles (or for anything besides consuming disgusting amounts of raw fish).

Was he actually having fun? ...Was she too...?

"Ready to give up?" she asked, smiling a little.

"It's not over, yet," he replied, giving her a smirk of his own. His red eyes met hers, the challenge radiating off of him like a dark energy.

She swallowed, her heart suddenly beating furiously in her chest. He was playing mind games, and she'd be a Primeape's uncle if she'd let him succeed. She might be young and inexperienced in comparison to him, but he was still just a man. Stupid, reckless, and much weaker than he thought he was.

Relicanth did indeed wipe the floor with Krookodile, also splashing Nanu in the face with his hydro pump and knocking him back a few steps. Despite her not actually intending for it to happen, she still laughed uproariously for a solid minute while he stared at her unamused.

"Is this another lesson from school? It doesn't surprise me that you were a bully. It's always the most emotionally stunted kids."

She snorted but didn't correct him. If he knew how much of a nerd she'd been in Trainer School, she'd never live it down.

The battle between his Absol and Relicanth was close, with Absol fainting first but Relicanth fainting moments later with a single attack from Honchkrow.

When she sent out Carbink she suddenly remembered the powerful fairy-type move it knew. She couldn't believe she had forgotten the best weapon she had against Nanu's entire team. She felt a bit like an idiot, but was glad to have the advantage.  

Sure enough, moonblast absolutely destroyed Honchkrow, and then Sableye almost as soon as she'd left her ball. Olivia actually felt a bit bad, and internally vowed to give him a chance to attack next time. Besides, it was boring to spam a single move.

Nanu didn't move however, except to shove his hands in his pockets. He was still dripping a bit, his short hair plastered to his face- but he seemed wholly unbothered.

"Good match," he said.

"What...?" she said, confused. "Wait... _that was it_?"

"Well, you don't have to rub it in."  

She called Carbink back and stared at him, but he was quiet. He seemed to be studying her.

"Uhm...wow. I was kind of expecting to lose."

"Bullshit, you were cocky. Don't think I didn't notice you letting me get confident before you went right for the throat. Very sadistic."

She scoffed, walking up to him. "I completely forgot she had moonblast, honestly."

He crossed his arms and nodded once. "It's for the best. I try and forget fairy-types exist at all. And yes, I'm including Bulu in that sentiment."

She laughed, feeling all the anger and stress dissipate then and there. One of the very few things she did like about Nanu was his constant bitching about the Tapu- something that the rest of the Kahunas considered borderline heresy. The truth was most of what the Tapus wanted them to do were pointless tasks that they could do themselves but were too lazy. Supposedly Bulu was famous for their laziness, though Lele could sometimes be a contender for that title. Olivia loved Lele, and she knew Nanu at least respected Bulu, but she still very much understood his griping.  

He eyed her, ghost of a smirk disappearing from his face. "Well, fair's fair. Just let me spearhead this Ultra Beast stuff and then I'll shut my mouth forever. Deal?"

"Eh..." she scratched her head. She hated herself for feeling bad now despite the hell he was always putting her through. But she also felt like the battle had been a little unfair, and he _was_ being civil for once. She couldn't help the little pang of sympathy. "You don't have to be completely quiet. You just have to let me talk when I have something to say, alright?"

"Got it. We'll play 'Olivia Says' and I'll ask for permission first."

"That's not how 'Simon Says' works, idiot," she said, shaking her head.

He held out his hand and she regarded it with confusion before he raised an eyebrow and stared pointedly at her motionless hand.

Realizing what he meant, she gripped it enthusiastically and shook, feeling better about the whole thing. She couldn't believe she had gotten what she wanted and there didn't seem to be any animosity in the man, even with the beating he'd just taken.

His hand was rough and calloused and now that he was this close, she could see all the Meowth scratches up and down his arm. His skin was cold, unlike her naturally warm body temperature, and it felt nice for the brief moment they made contact.

She must have been zoning out because Nanu cleared his throat and spoke up again. "May I have my pager back, now?"

"Oh, right," she said, fishing the thing out of her shorts. She was surprised to feel how hot the device was in her hand. Weird...Now that she thought about it, she was feeling even warmer than usual. Almost feverishly hot.

He took it from her and pressed the call button, shoving the thing and both hands into his pockets.

"What are you doing now?" she asked quickly. Her confusion at her own question matched Nanu's blank expression. "You know... about the Ultra Beasts." While she wasn't sure if that had been what had compelled her to ask, she _was_ at least a little curious about what the man was up to.

"Heh...now it's time to eat." He smirked at her and patted his stomach.

"What?! I thought you said you had something to do!"

"Eating is something, isn't it? Can't make any vital decisions while I'm starving."

"Oh _ha-ha_. Isn't this just the picture of all of your efforts. Delegating the work to children while you gorge yourself and take the credit.'" 

A Charizard appeared and circled them, the wind from its wings kicking up some of the debris they had made from their battle. Nanu gave her an unreadable look as it touched down and he slung a leg over the saddle. When the dragon got in take-off position, the man was raised a good foot above her. From the height his downcast gaze looked almost foreboding.

"Listen, Olivia," he said. She froze up, disquieted by his dark tone. "Best to leave this to the Champion. The Tapus and Lunala are supporting them. The International Police, too." After a moment, he added, "I doubt those two will do anything but complicate matters. There's no stopping them, though. We'll only muddle things up further if we stick our noses into things, too."

The seriousness of what he was saying and how he was saying it seemed to fill the air like an electric current, leaving her afraid to even move while he scrutinized her. She _of course_ knew just how dire the Ultra Beast catastrophe was, but without the booming assurances of Hala or the energetic questions from her captains to take away from Nanu's words they fell to the bottom of her stomach like a heavy stone. She swallowed.

"Perhaps Lele is keeping things from you."

His red eyes seared into her. She must have looked as perturbed as she felt because after a moment he finally eased up, posture loosening a bit and giving her a slow shrug.

"Anyway, I'm off," he said, turning away and staring off into the distance, once again the picture of boredom.

He admittedly felt a little guilty for putting her in her place so bluntly, but it had to be done. Just like with Looker, Anabel, and Moon, this was no time to be sugarcoating words or allowing everyone to do whatever they pleased. Truthfully, the threat of another tragedy seemed to loom closer and closer every day, and he was terrified. Even with the experience and years of agonizing over what he'd done wrong, he still anxiously second-guessed every move he was making and kept everyone else under his hands like chess pieces. It was the only way he could sleep at night- though he still didn't, much.

Despite his exhaustion he sighed and decided to extend an olive branch. Whether or not his fellow Kahuna would take it was up to her. He didn't have the energy to care at this point.

"You're welcome to join me, if your earrings are all sorted."

Her lips parted, unsure of what she'd just heard. His words were slow to pierce through all of the confusion and anxiety he had triggered in her. _Somehow_ , though, some small part of her brain processed the words and immediately jolted her back to life- ' _date, date, date!_ ' blaring in her head like an alarm. She gaped at him outright, though he seemed to have forgotten she was there and was idly observing some Yungoos chasing each other in the distance.

No way was this grumpy old man asking her out. He was definitely trying to downplay the cruel suggestion that Lele didn't trust her. Admittedly, it worked. She felt a little bit reassured, as if she'd just been burnt and a salve was being applied- somehow a pleasant feeling despite the preliminary pain. Perhaps he also felt like he owed her on account of her winning their battle. As it was whenever he wasn't the picture of smug, his face was unreadable.

Still, she'd be damned if she passed up a kind offering from _Nanu_ , seeing that it was rarer than a Legendary Pokemon sighting.

She shook her head, scattering her dark thoughts to the breeze. "Did you just say 'free food'? I'm in." Finally turning back to her he raised an eyebrow almost imperceptibly, as if an affirmative had been the last thing he expected.

She felt around in her pockets, her expression falling when she found she had left her pager inside.

"I'll meet you," she said, and was about to turn when Nanu gave her a smirk and patted the bit of saddle behind him in invitation. Charizard snorted, smoke rising from its nostrils and wings flexing in impatience.

Though she knew the man was teasing her (he wasn't ever _not_ teasing her), she was never one to let his jokes slide. She stepped up to the dragon and forbade herself from getting embarrassed as she slipped on behind him. Though Nanu was a small man the seat wasn't much larger, so she pressed against him in a much more intimate position than she had expected.

So...she had underestimated how large her ass had gotten. She'd have been beside herself with annoyance had she not felt Nanu instantly stiffen against her, and she instead had to choke back laughter.  

Nanu had really not expected the woman to agree to joining him to dinner let alone to sit with him on the Charizard, but he should have known better. With every day that went by she took less and less of his harassment, now taking to abusing him right back. She was one of the very few people who both stood up to him and continued to tolerate being around him. He never would have guessed that she'd spoon him out of spite, though. He really had to learn not to make jokes with consequences he couldn't deal with, particularly involving Olivia.

His entire damned brain immediately jolted awake at the feeling of her breasts and hips against him. It was a solid few seconds before he realized he had to be doing something.

"A bit unsafe, but we probably won't die," he said, willing himself to relax. Nudging Charizard with his heels, it took several lumbering steps and shot upwards with a single beat of its wings.

Suddenly her arms were around his waist, his jacket bunched up in her fists. It took only a few moments for the dragon to clear the tallest buildings and begin heading towards Melemele.

Once they were no longer climbing in height, she loosened her grip a little and felt Nanu relax. She gazed at the back of his head, examining the alien feeling of being so close to him. It wasn't unpleasant, surprisingly.

He smelled a bit like fur, a scent that she was very familiar with from cuddling with Lycanroc. She liked that smell- it was earthy and somehow _alive_ , and suggested someone who loved being near their Pokemon. She had always thought Meowth were antisocial little demons, but judging by the scent and the bits of fur here and there on his jacket he must have spent a good amount of time holding them.

From this close, his gray hair looked soft. Even with its short length it was mussing up in the wind, and she ignored the urge to smooth it down. Just below the nape of his neck, she could see what looked like the end of a long scar peeking out from under his collar. She stared at it for a moment, curious as to what it was, but forced herself to tear her eyes away and admire the view.

She let her sandals dangle from her toes, the wind threatening to tear them off and steal them away. She loved the subtle difference in the air above the ocean as opposed to the land. It was cooler, for one, and despite being a native islander she enjoyed the cold. Even so, she was thankful for the body heat from Nanu and Charizard keeping her from freezing. She watched the skin on her bare thighs form tiny bumps from the cold.

Leaning into Nanu's ear, she pointed in the direction of Ula'ula and said "You're lucky to have Mt. Lanakila on your island, you know."

He glanced over to the peak, visible from any island in Alola. The sight of that damn mountain made his stomach turn. Bulu often wanted him to do something or other up there, and most of the time he flat out refused. The place was a death trap. He knew Olivia must view it as some kind of rock-type heaven, though.

"It's an eye-sore if you ask me," he replied dryly.

"I didn't ask you," she snapped. She fell silent, annoyed.

Neither talked for a few minutes, Akala Island growing ever smaller as Melemele drew near.

He sighed, trying and failing to ignore the soft press of her body. "It's alright. Not many rock-types you know. Just a bunch of crappy ice."

"I don't care about that," she said. "It's the view when you get to the top... It's..." She paused, trying to put into words how moved she always was by the sight without inviting him to ridicule her. "...It's pretty. You know."

Nanu did know. He'd been up there hundreds of times before they had to ruin it with their "League" arena, which had taken a lot of arm twisting for him to allow it. Apparently it was _vital_ for all of Alola to bring in the tourism money, along with some other nonsense about creating new traditions. They assured him most of it would remain untouched, but he knew it wouldn't be the same. Still, who was he to fight the march of time? Seeing how excited the kids were to go through a brand new rite of passage was enough to convince him. Even Bulu seemed alright with it. Still, though, the completion of the arena was more bitter than sweet for him.

He may hate the cold but he felt intensely protective of unpopulated and remote wilderness. He wasn't positive if it was the spiritual connection to the island or just him being a misanthrope. The wistful tone in Olivia's voice made him suspect at least a bit of the former.

"Yeah. You can see everything from there," he said.

He gave her a half-smile over his shoulder and saw that she was smiling too, her amber eyes glowing with recognition.

He was thankful when Charizard dipped towards the encroaching land- he didn't know if he could look at the woman's soft expression without cracking a joke at her expense. Had he said something as nasty as he was wont to, he might not have felt the tightening of her arms around him while they landed.

Just like that the sensation was gone as she hopped off the Pokemon's back. The sun was beginning to go down, yet the sushi place was crowded as ever. Luckily, Kahunas were treated like royalty when it came to eating out.

Olivia pet Charizard's head and gave it some colorful beans from her pocket. Nanu wondered how anything could fit in those shorts, stretched as they were. His pager burned a hole in his jacket pocket, reminding him of where it had been earlier.

 _'Disgusting old man_ ,' he thought, and smirked to himself. He couldn't believe he was getting bothered over a young woman's _shorts_ , especially when that young woman was Olivia of all people. But... he wasn't blind. She was admittedly gorgeous, perhaps one of the most objectively beautiful women in Alola when one ignored her abrasive personality, and now that they'd managed to get this far without a fight he couldn't help but feel the tiniest bit warmer towards her.

He followed her into the place and they both automatically made their way to the back, returning a few friendly "Alola"s from patrons who recognized them.

The back was clear of people and filled with sounds of the kitchen rather than loud children and Pokemon. Before Olivia could sit, Nanu pulled out her chair for her.

"...What are you doing?" she asked, amused.

He regarded her with a look that said _don't start_. "I'm pulling out your chair for you."

"I can see that. Why?"

"Because it's polite."

"Lele, Nanu. This isn't the Dark Ages. I know how to sit down."

"Suit yourself," he said, taking a seat opposite her. He slumped into his chair without grace, unfolding a napkin and placing it on his lap. Olivia laughed internally, fully aware just how serious the man was about his raw fish.

"I can't believe there's one polite thing you do and it's extremely chauvinistic."

"I'm paying for your meal, aren't I?" Was Olivia imagining it or did he look like he was sulking...?

She didn't point out that that was also pretty damn sexist. She was too busy being deafened by the ' _date_ ' sirens once again.

"...True," she said. "You are the most thoughtful gentleman I know."

Nanu frowned, but they were interrupted by four glasses of sake- two placed in front of each of them. Nanu was confused and mildly annoyed, but Olivia thanked the waiter with an exuberant smile and downed an entire glass in less twenty seconds. He opened his mouth, but he couldn't summon any words.

She lifted the second glass to her lips before she noticed his look.

"What is it? Don't you like sake?"

He rubbed his chin in mock thought. "Certainly. Not enough to inhale it straight into my lungs, though. Savor the taste a little."

The snide comment seemed to bounce right off of her, though, as she downed the second glass in perhaps half the time.

The waiter, who hadn't even cleared the room yet, returned with two more glasses and exchanged them for the empty ones. She toasted him as he left. He hadn't planned on drinking very much, if anything at all, but the waiter apparently decided he'd need to drink as much as Olivia, who Nanu had not known ever came here. The waiter _had_ been correct. If he was going to be subjected to this woman drunk and most likely complaining about her love life, he would need to be sufficiently sauced as well. He took a sip from his own cup, squinting at her when she did the same.

"You come here a lot? I never see you," he said.

"Sometimes. Mostly with my friends, though, and there's too many of us to sit back here."

" _Friends_? You?"

"Yes," she said, leaning over the table. "Have you heard the term?"

"Can't say I have."

She snorted. "I'll invite you next time. It'll be fun. Actually, one of them thinks you're hot. Maybe you'll hit it off."

He raised an eyebrow, ready for the punch-line. "Really? Who?"

"I'll take that secret to my grave," she said, winking over her glass. He rolled his eyes. Sure, she was just fucking with him a little, but she'd never admit that girl might actually be her.

"It's probably Lycanroc," he grumbled.

She held back her laughter. "How did you know? Must have been that hungry look he was giving you earlier." 

"He's a nice guy, and handsome, but I'm not into that."

Olivia finished her third glass just as he finished his first, and they were both smirking when they were done.

They made shitty jokes as they waited, both getting progressively drunker. For whatever reason the waiter seemed amused when he showed up with their food. Olivia laughed it off and kicked Nanu hard under the table when he told the man to quit bringing her drinks.

"Don't listen to him. He dotes on me too much," she said innocently, though her words slurred a little. The drinks kept coming, the amused expression on the waiter's face replaced with confusion and a little bit of fear.

After that they ate mostly in silence, Nanu seemingly laser focused on consuming everything as quickly as physically possible despite his earlier pontificating about 'savoring the taste.' He only spoke when Olivia asked him about one of the weird looking rolls on his plate.

"It's Pyukumuku," he said. "Try it."

She shrugged and took a bite, instantly gagging and forcing herself to swallow. She finished off her umpteenth glass of sake to wash away the memory.

" _Ugh_ ," she finally choked out.

"You're supposed to eat it with wasabi," he said, looking amused. "Covers up the garbage taste."

"Pass. I hate spicy food."

"That's probably why we don't get along."

"We're getting along now," she said.

If she was being perfectly honest with herself she was kind of having fun with the man, and she was too sloshed to keep up the bitchy front. Lele knew her filter came off quick when alcohol was involved.

"I guess you're right. Compared to that earlier slaughter I feel like I'm in the presence of an angel."

"Psh," she said, feeling self conscious again. She pushed a Magikarp roll around her plate. "That didn't really count, though. I shouldn't have used Carbink."

His voice had a tinge of annoyance when he replied, and she looked up. "Don't be stupid. Type effectiveness is a legitimate way to battle."

She shrugged half-heartedly, still not feeling right about it. While it was true she felt like she had a solid plan and had a good strategy going before that-

"Anyway, you clearly have strategy on your mind," he said, as if reading her thoughts. He pointed a chopstick at her and levelled his half-lidded gaze at her. Were his cheeks the tiniest bit pink? Olivia hadn't counted how many glasses he had gone through... "Everyone's afraid of you because they think you'll smash anything that gets in your way. Your brain's far more dangerous, though." He nodded in finality before spearing and swallowing a piece of cooked Clauncher, its tail disappearing behind his teeth.

She was quiet for a moment, basking in his (somewhat backhanded) praise. She felt weird listening to it without saying anything in return, but something told her the man would appreciate it if they didn't sit there jerking each other off all night.

"...Thanks," she said, smiling, and raised her glass to him. He clinked his glass against hers and they took a long chug before he continued stuffing his face, finishing off the last scraps of what he had on his plate.

When she admitted she was done Nanu had them box it up. He claimed he'd give them to Persian to make amends for the battle, but she was 100% sure he'd eat them himself.

Olivia hadn't realized how late it had gotten until they stepped outside into the dark, the air cool and quiet around them. The sweet warmth of alcohol swam through her veins and she felt more than content. As Nanu fished out his pager again, she felt disappointment grip at her stomach.

"Now we're even," he said, flashing her his trademark smirk.

"Yeah yeah," she replied, hands on her hips. "Mind giving me a ride home, Mr. Gentleman?"

"I can just call you another ride, you know," he said, taking out the pager he'd just pocketed.

She grabbed his hand, holding it still. He looked up at her, gaze cloudy but surprise evident. Even in the moonlight it was apparent he was flushed from the alcohol. She would have laughed if she didn't have a drunk determination driving her.

"Please? I get cold up there. It's warmer with someone else."

He looked at her hand and back at her face as if unsure of what to do. Gently tugging the pager out of her grip, he put it away again. "Sure," he said, waving a hand dismissively. "No big deal."

Olivia shooed him onto a nearby bench when she noticed his slight wobble, and they sat and waited for the Charizard to appear.

"Won't your Meowths be pissed when you show up so late?" she asked, filling the silence. Mostly, she wanted to talk to him some more.

He inhaled slowly, presumably to clear his head a little. "Most of them are gone, they hunt at night. The rest of them will smell your dog stink on me and run."

"Lycanroc just had a bath! I doubt I can say the same for you."

"Mmm..." he mumbled, and gazed up at the sky.

Olivia hoped she hadn't made him mad or something. He suddenly seemed more quiet and withdrawn- but then, that was how he usually was. He'd talked to her more the past few hours than she'd seen him talk in years, including when he went off at meetings. It was obvious the man was as introverted as they came, and she wondered if he must be exhausted from being around her all day.

Still, she would selfishly follow through with this. She couldn't believe it, but she was actually _feeling affectionate_  toward the old man and didn't want this weird intimacy to end.

When it touched down they got on the Charizard in unison; it must have smelled the alcohol stink on them, leaning down to the ground so they only had to take a small step to get on. Olivia slipped her arms around Nanu again, no longer attempting to make him uncomfortable but instead wishing she could rest her head against his shoulder and enjoy the moment without the threat of embarrassment.

She waited again for the Pokemon to reach its cruising altitude before she spoke up.

"Uhm..." she said. Lele, she was so nervous. She hated looking like an idiot in front of him, and right now the anxiety was multiplied. At the same time her inhibitions were low and she'd most likely never be in this position again, so she swallowed her pride and hoped against hope he wouldn't push her into the ocean.

Leaning in close to him, she tightened her arms around his waist. "We can hang out a little longer, right? At your place?"

He turned his head to look at her, face blank. His skin was even pinker from the wind but the moonlight also made him appear paler, giving him an impression of a deep blush. She smiled in amusement as recognition finally came to his clouded eyes.  

"Sure," he said simply.

She gave him a thumbs up. He looked back to the front of the Charizard as he changed its course.

The rest of the ride was silent, the distant sound of the waves filling the void. She pressed up against him in a way she hoped was _mostly_ imperceptible, enjoying the feeling of a warm body against hers that wasn't covered in fur and drooling on her. She wanted to lift her arms a little higher and feel his heartbeat, but she wasn't quite drunk enough to do something that weird.

\---

She burst in after him once he unlocked his door, chilled to the bone and ready to wrap herself up in a blanket cocoon. A Team Skull grunt whistled from the field nearby and Nanu grumbled, slamming the door behind them.

"Ignore him. He does that everytime he sees me."

She laughed. "It's fine. Let them spread rumors. Rumors are fun."

He gave her an unamused look and tossed everything on the table before collapsing on his couch. She sat down next to him, noticing that the Meowth were indeed gone. She wondered if he got lonely around here when they left. She always felt loneliest at night. But she supposed he had his Pokemon just as she had hers. It wasn't exactly the same, though...

"Do you have any beer?" she asked.

"Seriously? Must be nice to have a healthy liver."

Despite the comment he got up and pulled a six pack from his small refrigerator, Olivia noting with amusement that there wasn't much else inside it.

"Aren't all cops alcoholics?" she asked, watching with barely concealed admiration as he uncapped two bottles with his teeth.

"Don't joke about that. But yeah, it's kind of a graduation requirement."

She laughed, taking the bottle from him. A cartoon Meowth dripping with black paint stared at her from the label, black pawprints framing the stylized name.

"You drink Black Meowth? You really have a theme going, don't you?"

"Highest alcohol content allowed in Alola," he said, sitting back down and taking a sip. "Also I like Meowth. So sue me."

Shrugging, she took her own "sip," downing half the bottle. She needed a bit more liquid courage. And she secretly liked Black Meowth, too.

"So how about that trenchcoat guy? I bet he parties pretty hard."

Nanu looked confused, and then cracked a smile that actually reached his eyes. Olivia was almost knocked over from the sight.

" _Looker_?" He laughed. It was a bit dark, sure, but it was a _real laugh_. He kept going for a bit, still chuckling a little as he attempted to drink more.

"...So...kind of a square, huh?" she managed, feeling short of breath. She hadn't imagined a grumpy asshole could have such a nice laugh. And she was the one who’d brought it out of him. It felt good.

"Hmmm..." Nanu said, calming down. He was still smiling, though. "Imagine me, but twice as socially awkward."

"Can you multiply two times infinity?" she asked. She felt her body temperature skyrocket when he laughed again.

"Touché. He's... a good guy, though. We go way back." His smile turned down a little and he stared at the bottle in his hand, rotating it idly. He went silent for a beat before saying "I'm pretty hard on him sometimes."

She sat up a little straighter, concerned as he went still, seemingly lost in thoughts that couldn't be pleasant. For some unknown reason she thought about that scar she'd seen between his shoulder blades and got a bad feeling. Just as she was about to speak, he interrupted her.

"Guess I'm preaching to the choir though, huh?"

His eyes met hers and she did her best to hide her creeping worry.

What was she supposed to say? Yes, he was harsh towards her. Unbearably so. In those early years she had even cried when she went home from meeting with the other Kahunas, though she'd never tell him that.

But she sort of understood. The man had issues. He was a good person at heart, but often couldn't be bothered to act like a decent human being. It was evidence enough that he'd been fed through a wringer more than a few times in his life.

She was the same in a lot of ways. Pushing people away was always easier than trying to deal with emotions. It was her greatest hurdle she was trying to overcome, and it was scary to see someone still so untrusting so late in life.

She wanted to make him better, somehow. There had to be hope for them.

"Yeah, you _are_ hard on me," she said slowly. His detached stare didn't falter, though she swore she could feel the tenseness in the air. "But we're friends. Well, I can't speak for you. But you're my friend." She took a breath. She was too drunk to try and get all psychological on him. "And anyway... I know you're a good person. Even if you go back to being an unbearable douche tomorrow I'll still know you're a kindly old man who feeds his leftovers to his cats."

He frowned deeper and broke his stare, opening another beer.

Not knowing if she should go on, she risked it anyway. "I'm sure that guy knows that even more than I do...And even if he doesn't, you're helping him now. To me that's all that matters. Trying to do the right thing even if you screwed up in the past."

He was quiet, staring out the dark window opposite them and looking gloomy. Olivia bit her lip. She was horrible at expressing this kind of stuff, but for some reason seeing him looking almost vulnerable made her feel sick.

Finally, he glanced back at her. "Maybe you're right," he said, shrugging.

"Damn straight," she replied, voice soft.

He gave her a small smile. "Heh. Sorry to get all weird on you. I usually just talk to the Meowth when I'm drunk."

"It's cool," she said, sensing that the topic was over. She gave him the 'ok' sign. The worry lingered, but it sparked a determination to try and salvage the night for the both of them.

"So... how about that suit-and-tie purple haired chick I've seen around? Were you two an item?"

"What?" he said, amused. "Anabel? She's like...twenty-five."

"So am I," she said, staring him down.

"And...what's your point?"

Olivia wasn't sure if he was thick in the head, not interested, or just giving her the opportunity to shut her trap now. Whatever the case, she was already way too invested in this scheme to not follow through.

Scooting a little closer, she propped her head in her hand and her elbow on the couch so she could look down at him. Though his slouch could rival the greasy leader of the Skull gang, she could nevertheless sense his tenseness. He took a swig, and then another.

"And," she said, "I wouldn't think it was weird to be with someone your age."

"Heh," he smirked. "That would be pretty pathetic. Even for old bastards I'm bottom of the barrel. Looker would be a better fit for her, though he's no spring Torchic either."

"You're _not_ 'bottom of the barrel,'" she said, but stopped herself before she could get worked up and start rambling again.

She wanted to tell him he was smart and kind hearted. Even if he could be a sarcastic asshole without boundaries, he still had good intentions. He cared about his island and all of the others, too, the Pokemon, the lost kids who had taken up residence in the abandoned town up the road, and he worked his ass off despite claiming he was retired. He'd probably make someone really happy if he wasn't so neurotic.  

"You're a good man," she repeated firmly, hoping it would convey even a fraction of what she meant.

He stared at her like she was speaking gibberish.

"...Well...Young women like Anabel are better off with men who don't have to take three naps a day to stay alive."

"Maybe, but maybe young women like Anabel can decide what they want to do and who they want to fuck."

"Woah, alright. Didn't know that was part of the question. In that case-"

Not willing to stomach another shitty joke, she grabbed a handful of his collar and jerked him closer, pressing her lips against his. She heard the clank and scrape of his beer bottle about to topple onto the floor, and he made a muffled sound of surprise against her lips. A hand grabbed her arm and pushed her away, and he squinted at her with a mixture of confusion and annoyance.

"What are you trying to do, woman?"

"Its _Olivia_ _._ I'm kissing you. Don't you know what that is?"

He scrubbed a hand down his face and pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment.

“Olivia, why don’t you lie down and try to sober up a little?”  

She felt her face get hot. “Excuse me…? I’m completely lucid.”

“I may not be the best judge of sobriety, but I can assure you that you’re blitzed right now.”

She opened her mouth to argue, but changed her mind at the last moment. Lele, how pathetic was she? The loneliest old man in Alola didn’t even want her, and worse still, she had made a fool out of herself the moment she’d gotten confident enough to do something on her own.

She looked down at her lap and felt her eyes sting. Perfect, it wouldn’t be her special brand of bad luck if she didn’t start crying in front of the last person she could stomach seeing it. She sniffed loudly and slammed the beer on the table before stomping over to the door.

“Uh...Olivia?” Nanu called after her, but she threw open the door and stepped out into the rain.

She looked both ways along the trail, flipping off the kid who whistled at her from among a group of his identically dressed friends.

“Olivia, slow down,” Nanu said, approaching her. “Where are you going?”

“Fuck you,” she snapped, and began walking towards the meadow.

“Wait,” he said, and she could hear him jogging to keep up with her long strides. She would have laughed had she not been so depressed. “ _Olivia_.”

“ _What?!_ ” she snapped, turning around. He almost slammed into her, and backed up a few feet before he held up his hands in surrender. The loitering grunts in the distance hooted and yelled.

His expression was tinged with annoyance, but he was mostly succeeding in reigning it in. “Please come back inside. It’s dangerous to wander around here at night.” _Especially drunk out of your gourd,_ she knew he was thinking.

“Call me a ride, then. I can sleep at my own house.”

“Fine, at least come back inside for now.”

She frowned at him, but followed. Even though she wanted to lash out at him, it was disappointment and loneliness that was knotting up her stomach and making her want to break down right then and there. She knew the feeling all too well.

Nanu shut the door behind them before they could make out what the grunts were yelling at them.

“Sit,” he said.

“I can stand.” She wrapped her arms around herself, willing her body to stop shivering from the cold and damp.

“...I’m not calling you a ride. You’ll fall off the Charizard.”

“ _What?!_ ” she hissed. “You had no problem with it earlier!”

“Yes, because I drank half of what you drank, and I didn't know how out of it you were.”

She glowered at him. “Fucking hypocrite. You’re half my size.”

“Please, just stay here. I’ll go sleep in Po Town if you’re that pissed at me.”

She paused and then burst out laughing. “ _Po Town?_ Where will you sleep? In a pile of broken glass? In a dumpster? In Guzma’s bed?”

He regarded her suspiciously, like her sudden mirth was a sign of mania. “Laugh all you want, I’ve slept there before. One time part of my roof collapsed and Guzma set me up with a bed in the women’s quarters.”

“Wow, sounds absolutely awful.”

“It was, but I’ll do it again if I have to.”

Giving up, she slumped down on the couch. She kicked her sandals off and curled up against the armrest, feeling immensely sorry for herself.

She felt his weight settle at the other end of the couch.

“I’m...sorry,” he said. She looked up but he didn’t meet her gaze. Still, she knew exactly what she heard.

“What are you sorry for?”

He scratched his head. “For upsetting you...?”

She sighed. He didn’t even know what he was apologizing for. He didn’t even _need_ to apologize.

“It’s not your fault. I just thought...things were going well. I thought maybe you liked me. But as usual, I’m wrong.”

“I do like you,” he said, voice gruff despite attempting to say something nice. “Why do you think I don’t?”

“Because you just rejected me!”

“Oh,” he said. “Of course I rejected you. You're not thinking rationally. It's kind of bad form as a cop and human being to allow a drunk girl to climb all over you."

"You're drunk, too!" she snapped. "Besides, I wanted this before I started drinking."

He smirked humorlessly. "Bullshit."

"Well...I don't know... Now that I'm saying it out loud, it feels true. I always kind of liked you, even though I hated you a hundred times more. But right now I don't hate you as much, so I can sort of see it now. How do you do that to me?"

"It's a special talent," he replied, and frowned. He looked uncomfortable and unsure of what to say, and Olivia wished she could somehow reassure him that she understood the conflict he was going through.

"Well...if you want...can we try it out? Maybe? I can walk a straight line and touch my nose if you want me to, officer."

"I highly doubt that," he said. Finally he raised his head and looked her in the eyes, exhaustion now the only thing evident in his face. He sighed. "Fine, do what you want."

She scoffed and shook her head. "It's fine, Nanu. I don't want to if you aren't into it. I promise I won't hate you any more than I already do."

"Yeah yeah, I'm 'into it.' I still have blood in these veins and half a brain left."

The way she instantly perked up reminded Nanu of a Pokemon seeing a rainbow bean. Still, she tried to seem nonchalant.

"Really?" she asked. "You don't seem thrilled."

"This is my thrilled voice. Honest." 

She scooted a little closer, and was reassured by his eyes roaming down her body. When she was close enough she leaned in and closed her eyes.

He stared at her lips, parted and eager to be on his, and he swallowed. It was a nice sight, he had to admit, but he couldn't help but feel like he was on some kind of candid camera show. 

Anxiety and paranoia had never stopped him from devolving into the sleaze he really was, though. He met her halfway and let the pleasant feeling of being touched like this remind him of less hectic days. He tensed when he felt her hands on the small of his back and slide up until she was holding him, but forced himself to relax. 

She wanted this. Maybe it was fucked up- maybe she just wanted to impress him or get off on some power trip, or maybe she was really smashed and somehow still coherent. But he knew from experience what all of that looked like, and this felt different. 

He let his mouth fall open a fraction and she immediately shoved her tongue in. He flinched a little, not expecting the assault.  

She pushed against him and his back hit the couch. His pulse jumped and a drunken adrenaline shot through him as if his body had been preparing for this for years. She nipped his lower lip and her breasts pressed against his chest. He had the couch cushions in a death grip to keep his hands from roaming, but Bulu was it difficult to control himself. 

Tearing himself away, he took a deep breath. She ran a hand down his face and looked down at him with a strange expression.

"What?" he asked warily.

"You're cute," she said. 

"Cute?" he repeated, raising an eyebrow. "That statement is the only sobriety test I need."

Rather than snap back or punch him like she wanted to, she grabbed his chin and brought his face back to hers. 

This time when she kissed him his mouth opened for her immediately. He tasted like sake and wasabi, and she was amused to find that the combination was actually sort of nice. Maybe she'd have to reconsider her vow against spicy food.

It was more than bizarre to be kissing Nanu, a man much older and more experienced than her, but it was also _interesting_. Though she had a hard time picturing him making out with anyone, they didn't bump teeth once, and the hand that settled on her hip was steadfast. Feeling emboldened, she slung a leg over his lap and straddled him.

He grunted and shifted under her weight, their mouths separating for a moment. His eyebrows were drawn in consternation, but otherwise he finally looked relaxed, and she didn't allow him to protest before she kissed him again. When she pulled away to enjoy his doped out expression some more, his eyes gradually fell to her chest, now leveled right in his face.

She laughed, feeling his fingers on her hips twitch against her bare skin. "It's alright," she said, grabbing one of his hands and placing it on her breast. The light pressure alone felt nice. "Go on."

For a moment he looked like Lycanroc did when she told him a command he didn't understand. Then his fingers closed a little, squeezing gently.

She opened her mouth, exhaling a tiny breath. She had forgotten how sensitive her tits were, having gotten tired of playing with them herself some years back.

If Nanu could tell how worked up she was already he didn't say anything, he just watched her quietly while he raised his other hand. He let them rest on both breasts, and brushed her nipples with his thumbs through her thin top. She bit her lip and arched into the touch.

He leaned forward and spread his fingers, licking the hard nub that was clearly visible through the fabric.

"Ah!" she gasped and thread her fingers through his short hair. She wanted him to do that again, and again and again and again, and if he had to turn away to keep from suffocating she didn't know if she'd be able to let him.

Suddenly she felt a prod against her ass and she jumped a little, snorting in amusement.

The man looked dazed. "What?"

"Nothing," she said, and ground her hips down, rubbing her ass shamelessly along the bulge in his pants.

" _Fuck_ ," he growled and grabbed her arms, holding her still. "You're trying to kill me."

"Nanu, let's get on your bed. Where is it?"

He still looked a little confused, like she wasn't making any sense. "You're looking at it," he said, gesturing to the couch.

She laughed again, but stopped when he just leaned back and said nothing more.

"You're serious. _How do you live like this_?"

"Barely."

"Ugh, fine. Honestly, it could have been worse. It could have been a cat bed."

"I've got one of those, too, if you're into that. It's Persian's but I'm sure she'd be happy for me."

Olivia groaned but decided to let it slide. She was already ass deep in this weird hell and was only getting wetter at the thought of fucking him senseless. She didn't understand how every new horrible aspect of him was somehow never enough to break her fascination, but she wouldn't try and analyze it now. Not while she could feel his real, physical need for her pressing against her body.

His fascination with her tits didn't seem to be cooling down any time soon, so she pulled his hands off. He sat as stiff as a corpse as she slipped her hands under his uniform jacket and attempted to pull it off, but he mercifully figured out what she was trying to do and shrugged it off. She grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled that off as well, flinging both onto the floor.

She didn't know what to focus on first- the fact that he had the most horrendous farmer's tan she'd ever seen, or that he apparently had many more scars than the one she'd seen earlier. 

She could feel him watching her face so she said "Nice tan."

"Not everyone has perfect skin," he droned. She felt him relax under her, though. 

"Flattery will get you everywhere, but my skin is far from perfect. I've got moles." 

"Really? Where?" he asked, snapping the waistband of her shorts. She jumped a little in surprise. So, he was finally getting a little frisky? 

She got off his lap only to push him into a laying position. "Do you really want to know?" she asked, trying to sound more seductive than slurred.

He didn't answer. His stare was locked on her cleavage. Rolling her eyes, she gave him another deep kiss. 

When she pulled back she bit her lip to keep from laughing. Though her lipstick was the palest shade she had it still stuck out against Nanu's fair skin, and his lips were now completely pink. It looked ridiculous.

He didn't seem to notice her amusement, thankfully. Anything could set him into a fit of bitching (though, admittedly, the same could be said about her) and she really didn't feel like getting into a screaming match right now.

He ran his hands up her sides, smoothing down the fabric of her top. Growing impatient, she pulled it and her necklace off in one fluid motion, taking care to place those and her earrings on the table neatly. Nanu raised an eyebrow, opening his mouth to say something condescending, but she unhooked her bra and pulled it off, now fully topless in front of him. His mouth shut and eyes widened. The shell-shocked expression looked goofy as hell on his face, but his rapt attention sent a jolt straight down her abdomen.

This time he didn't need her guidance to grope her, grabbing handfuls and squeezing them gently. She moaned and bent over him to get closer. Digging her nails into his couch cushion, she pressed her hand against the front of his pants and felt his cock twitch against her palm. He made a strangled sound and arched up to meet her, his hands smooshing her breasts against her chest muscles.

"Feisty aren't you?" he gritted out.

"You could die at any moment, there's no time for petting each other like overgrown Meowth," she said. He scoffed. "Besides, look who's talking. You're holding onto my tits like a drowning pervert."

"So I am..." he replied, squeezing them too hard. He licked his lips, cringing at the taste of the lipstick. Olivia couldn't help but laugh this time as his hands dropped and he wiped an arm across his mouth.

He tensed up again when she tugged at his belt, freeing it from the loops and dropping it on the floor. She unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, looking up at his face. She could tell his jaw was clenched tight.

"Alright?" she asked.

"Hurry up, now. Don't forget I could die at any moment," he said gruffly. 

She tugged his pants and underwear off in one go, pleased to see he was almost fully hard. She couldn't help but stare. She always secretly found it fascinating how different every man's dick was. The hair leading down from his belly-button was mostly dark, with some gray visible. 

"So, you used to have black hair?" she asked. She imagined how he must have looked when it still had its shade, and was intrigued. She'd have to ask if there were any pictures of him from back then. "You haven't gone gray down here. You've got the dick of a forty year old!"

"Can you not joke about my dick?" he said, running a hand down his face.

"Sorry, sorry," she said, biting her cheek to keep from laughing. 

"Go on, show me the goods so I can make fun of you."

She wobbled a little as she removed her shorts and panties, and kneeled so that she was right next to his cock. He stared.

"There it is," he said, poking a mole just above the crease between her hip and thigh. "What horrible skin you have."

"Fuck you," she said. "At least I don't look like I went through a paper shredder."

She ran a slender finger down a long, jagged scar. If she didn't know any better, she'd swear it was a Lycanroc bite. They had special teeth that only a few other canine Pokemon shared, and the way they went straight for tearing off muscle left very distinguishable wounds. She itched to ask him what had happened, but thought better of it.

None of the other Kahunas- not even Hala, Olivia suspected- knew much about what Nanu did before he joined their ranks, but it wasn't difficult to guess he'd seen some shit given how gloomy and morbid he was. The scars only confirmed that fact, though she definitely wondered more than ever what he'd been through. The look he was giving her was enough to dissuade her from any questions, however.

"Do you have a rubber?" she said. His face shifted into confusion.

"What?"

"A _condom_. You know, those little latex sleeves for your dick. Or did you use a Mareep bladder last time you met someone special?"

For a moment he stared at her with a lost expression, and she gaped at him. "Hmm..." he said, suddenly sounding... _embarrassed_? He scratched the back of his head.

_"_ Oh my... _Lele_..."

"I have lube?" he said, and then cringed at his own answer.

"Of course you do. Anyone in Alola could have told me that."

Olivia felt a little bad for teasing him, but he just laughed. "What can I say? My only friends are Meowths and I seem to always be pissing off the one girl I talk to..."

She sighed in frustration. She supposed she shouldn't be mad at him. It wasn't like he should have seen this coming. Still, she wanted to ride him and feel him cum inside her.

His eyebrows furrowed and his gaze wandered as he frantically grasped for an idea. 

"You think those grunts are still out there? I'll send one of them to the pharmacy."

" _No_!" she yelled, slapping one of his pectorals.

"Ow," he hissed, rubbing the red spot.

She sighed. _"_ Relax, you're not getting away that easily. Next time you'll be more prepared, right?"

He nodded wordlessly.

"Good," she said, and took him in her hand.

His grip on her hips tightened as she gave him a slow pump. She felt him him getting gradually harder beneath her fingers, and was pleased at how quickly he was ready.

His hand moved back to gripping the couch cushions so he didn't break her hip from all of the tension in his muscles. She gave him a look she hoped was sexy, and savored the flush that had come back over him in full force.

"Ready?" she asked, half-standing and positioning herself over his dick.

"Wait...What about-"

"It's fine, just pull out before you cum."

He frowned at how blunt she was being, but swallowed back any complaints. He wasn't sure he could string together a full sentence, anyway- not with her perfect body right there, ready and willing.

"Lube?" he said.

"I don't need it," she replied, placing a hand on his stomach. She could see his knuckles turning white as she lowered herself onto him. She was already so wet his dick went in without much difficulty, though the discomfort from being filled was still there. Far stronger than that, though, was the pleasure from the new pressure inside of her.

She moaned a little and ran her hand up his stomach as she adjusted to the feeling. Rocking her hips, she slid up and down his length.

"Think you can manage it, old man?"

"Whatever you say," he replied, voice tight. "I obey."

"Damn right."

She grabbed her tit and groped herself, finding a rhythm that sent shock-waves through her entire body. She could hear his breathing growing erratic, but she was too busy focusing on the pleasure to study him.

Nanu watched her and bit his tongue. Already he was feeling his orgasm coming at him like a freight train, but if he had to call upon some of Interpol's torture resisting mental techniques to last a little longer he would.

Just as important as not making an ass of himself was his determination to get her off. He'd die trying if that's what it took. He hoped he didn't die trying, though- not that he minded dying like this, but it would mean she'd have the last laugh. He couldn't allow that.

He thought about how he could get her there a little quicker, trying to draw from memory. Though Olivia seemed to have a bizarre masochistic attraction to his rude remarks, he knew that what she wanted to hear right now was most likely the opposite.

"Yes...you feel amazing," he said. It came out rougher than he'd wanted, but he felt her thighs clench around him. "You look really good."

"Shut...up...weirdo," she panted. Her hips drove deeper, swallowing his entire length. He breathed sharply and tried to arch up to meet her, but her weight pinned him. He held back a comment about it and settled for running a hand down her arm. He'd somehow gotten worse at reigning in his abrasiveness over the years, but for once he didn't mind the challenge.

"I've wanted this for so long," he tried, and raked his eyes over her body, her dark skin now coated with a thin sheen of sweat.

He hated saying stupid sappy shit more than almost anything, but watching Olivia's flush deepen from said stupid sappy shit was worth it. Maybe _that_ was stupid and sappy in itself? He'd have to agonize about his eagerness to sell out at some time much later from now.  

Anyway, it was all true. The expert way that she moved against him contradicted her unhappy relationship status, as did her beauty. Though most people considered her too hot headed and stand-offish, to someone like Nanu it only added a spark of fire to her natural elegance. He was the same way (minus the elegance), and though it put them at odds constantly it was anything but unappealing. He _had_ wanted this for a while, though he would hardly admit it even to himself. Maybe from the first insult she threw at him years ago. He didn't remember what it had been, but it had probably been great.

Olivia stared down at him with those dark brown eyes while she rocked back and forth, her face red and plump lips parted. Nanu expected another poorly formed retort, but was instead answered with a hard thrust and a shamelessly loud moan.

He was so shocked he couldn't stop his own moan and shaky breath as a painful pleasure filled him. His hands shot back to her hips to keep her on him, his nails digging into her skin. He grit his teeth as he struggled to hold back the pressure threatening to vaporize the entire lower half of his body.

"Fuck...sorry," he said as his vision slowly returned. He loosened his grip and squinted at her perfectly toned belly- he hadn't meant to hurt her and hoped he hadn't broken her skin- but he flinched when she bucked her hips wildly and dug her own nails into his shoulders.

" _Nanu_ ," she cried out, her tone one that he had until then assumed porn stars had invented to fake out their audience. He gaped as he watched her bend over him, riding out her orgasm on his painfully hard dick. Her muscles tightened around him and he felt dizzy.

"Hurry up," he gritted out, "I can't-"

In a flash she raised a leg and dismounted him, the wetness coating her inner thighs visible for a brief moment. The sudden absence of her warm body and the air hitting him made him groan in protest, but her hand quickly took over the rhythm she'd left off on.

_"_ Ah...fuck," he mumbled, and when she leaned in closer he tugged her against him. Her breasts crushed his chest and she kissed him, hand speeding up between them and bringing him to release. He wanted to shove her face away- he couldn't breathe, damn it, he was going to suffocate- but all that his hands seemed to want to do was hold her tighter. His tongue could barely keep up with hers as he finally got off.

She slowly stroked him until he was done and he regained the presence of mind to push her gently away. He panted harshly and pressed a hand to his head.

"...I think I'm having a heart attack," he said.

"Shut up," she replied, her own breath short and uneven. She settled down next to him, just barely enough room on the couch for her to cling to his side. "Do you know how embarrassing that would be for me when people found out?"

"Doesn't matter, they'd know I got laid," he said. She was so close to him he could smell her perfume and sweat and feel her smothering body heat, and somehow, he didn't mind.

She looked mad for a second but suddenly laughed.

"Both of us getting laid? I don't think they'd believe it even if they saw the crime scene."

"You're right, the police around here are pretty incompetent."

She leaned in and ran a hand down his chest, feeling the occasional bump from a scar. "Yeah, but sexy."

Nanu made a face. "Wait, who are _you_ talking about?"

She rolled her eyes and kissed him, and he gladly kissed her back. As much as he loved to fuck with her, it turned out that her friendly banter was kind of nice, too. He hoped she agreed, as the concept of pissing her off suddenly seemed less appealing than it did hours ago.

After a kiss in which they both somehow matched each other's pace perfectly, Olivia moved back and smiled down at him.

He raised an eyebrow and licked his lips, gagging when he tasted that nasty lipstick again. She laughed harder than she had all night, tears forming at the corners of her eyes.

"Glad my suffering entertains you," he said. Her laugh was infectious, though, but he managed to suppress a smile. No way was he giving her that, no matter how many times she slept with him.

He waited patiently for her to finish and wrapped his arm around her waist. She settled against him and patted his chest in reconciliation. They laid there in silence, both getting drowsier and drowsier as the sound of their breathing mingled.

"Hey, auntie," he said.

"What is it, grandpa?"

"Remember that time we first met, when you first became Kahuna?" He kept his tone flippant, hoping not to sound too nostalgic.

"Mmmm. It was only a few years ago, you know."

"Remember when we had that... _discussion_... and you stormed out like the delinquent you are?"

"...Yes. Hala was furious at me. I told him I'd never be in the same room as you again."

"Heh," he grinned. "Anyway, do you remember what you said to me? Right before you slammed the door on Hala's foot?"

She was silent for a moment, and then she twisted her head to look at him. Her face was exasperated. " _Why_?"

He raised a hand. "I'm just wondering. I don't remember." At her raised eyebrow he said, "I swear on Tapu Bulu."

"That's Tapu Bull-shit."

"...Wow...that's..." He trailed off and stared at her. He hated puns, but he loved irreverent jokes at Bulu's expense.

Sighing, she went back to relaxing against his chest.

"...I _said_ , 'You're going to end up alone with your hand down your pants and a crusty old Persian by your side,' or something like that."

He held back a laugh, wary of the death glare leveled at him.

"Well, you were pretty close...although you're not a Persian and not particularly crusty."

She punched him in the side, hard, and he curled up on himself, laughing and coughing at the same time. Olivia smiled- content now that she'd finally gotten everything she'd wanted out of the day.

\---


End file.
